


Fake

by acedavestrider



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 08:49:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17040605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acedavestrider/pseuds/acedavestrider
Summary: Dave convinces you to pretend to be his boyfriend for free movie tickets, and it goes about as well as you expect.





	Fake

**Author's Note:**

> prompt from notedchampagne on tumblr! thanks sam :)

You’re sitting in the student center minding your own business when suddenly Dave is in front of you, slamming a piece of paper down on the table you’re occupying. It’s a flyer for the movie theater, announcing some sort of deal on tickets.

“Dude,” Dave is saying before you even have the chance to question his sudden appearance. “Movies, this weekend, free tickets, are you in, yes or yes?”

“Slow the fuck down,” you say with a hand up. “What in God’s gaping asshole are you talking about?”

“The theater is giving away free tickets for couples on Valentine’s Day,” Dave explains, slower this time. “They’re showing The Avengers and we’re fucking going.”

“Okay, we can just buy tickets and-”

“No, dude, are you even listening to me? Get your head out of your ass,” he says with a little frown. “ _Free_ tickets for couples. Did you hear me? _Free_.”

“Yeah, for couples,” you repeat. “Correct me if I’m wrong but there seems to me a minor flaw in this brilliant plan of yours.”

“What?”

“We aren’t a couple?” you say with a raised eyebrow, because it’s fucking obvious.

“As if that’s even remotely a problem,” he says. And then, “We’ll just pretend.”

“Pretend,” you say dumbly. “You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend because you don’t feel like paying twelve ninety-nine for a movie ticket?”

“I mean if you’re not up for it, I can just ask John-”

“Wait, I didn’t say that,” you backtrack. You want to go see The Avengers just as much as Dave does, maybe even more, and the more he speaks the more appealing the idea seems to you. Free tickets to one of the most popular movies of the year sounds like a deal that’s almost too good to be true.

“So you’re in?” Dave asks.

You narrow your eyes as you weigh the pros and cons. On one hand you get to see an epic movie with your best friend, but on the other hand you have to pretend to be the boyfriend of the guy you’ve already developed unrequited feelings for. The possibility of falling for Dave even harder during this stunt makes you hesitate.

“Fine,” you eventually say, and Dave breaks into a huge grin that makes your chest hurt.

“Sweet,” he says triumphantly. “Saturday at eight, alright?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool.” Then he lifts up his sunglasses to wink at you. “It’s a date.”

* * *

 

Saturday comes and you find yourself standing at the entrance to the movie theater with Dave at your side, watching as couples stroll into the building. He’s counting change in his palm to make sure you have enough cash between the two of you for a large popcorn so you can get the free refills, and you watch him with slightly bated breath.

You’re starting to feel like you want to bail now that you’re seeing all the other couples around you, holding hands and occasionally kissing. You’re not sure how much “pretending” Dave really wants to be doing, and you’re not sure how much you’d object to certain things.

“Alright, we’ve got enough,” he announces after another minute of counting. “You ready?”

“I guess so.”

You start walking towards the entrance and Dave follows you. Before you can step inside, he slips his hand into yours and you jump, nearly pulling away.

“Chill, dude,” is all he says, irritatingly nonchalant. “I’m just playing the part here, okay, don’t act like I’ve got some sort of viral disease.”

You don’t want to tell him that you’ve been imagining holding his hand for weeks, and that the feeling of doing so sent a jolt down your spine, so all you say is, “Your hand is fucking freezing.”

“Well now yours will warm it up,” he says cheerfully.

You swallow as Dave leads the two of you up to the ticket booth, trying not to let the feeling of his hand in yours muddle your thoughts. The woman at the booth gives you a half-hearted, tired employee smile. Dave hands her the flyer he brought with him and she takes it, eyes your joined hands, then turns over two tickets with little fanfare.

Once inside the building Dave lets go of your hand in favor of putting his arm around your waist and giving you a little squeeze.

“Can’t believe that fucking worked, dude,” he says. “They’re just fucking giving away tickets, huh? That was basically theft, and all because we held hands for a little while? Damn.”

His arm is still around you and you’re starting to blush. You pull away from him, gently. “They must be losing a shit ton of money,” you mutter.

“Nah, the food here is so overpriced they’re probably making fucking bank.”

He’s right, and you end up paying twenty-five dollars for two sodas and a large popcorn, but as soon as you settle down into your seats at the theater you feel like it might be worth it. It’s crowded as hell, full of people paired up in twos, and you start to feel a little nervous being around so many couples. What if someone sees you and assumes you’re dating? Are you just going to admit that you lied to get free tickets?

You don’t have time to think about it, as the movie starts and the room is cast into light from the screen. About halfway through the film Dave puts his arm around your shoulders in an entirely unsubtle move, and it’s all you can focus on for a full hour.

The moment the after-credits scene ends Dave jostles you with the arm he has around you, shooting you a big smile.

“Okay, was that fucking epic or what?” he asks.

You stand up, removing yourself from his embrace, and stretch your arms over your head. “As much as I dislike that you just said ‘epic’ in a completely unironic setting,” you start, “I’d say yes, that was pretty fucking epic.”

“And we saw it for _free_ ,” he reminds you. “You’re welcome.”

“Yeah, pretending to be your date was only slightly nauseating,” you half-joke. “Fortunately the stomach cramps and acid reflux have seem to subsided.”

“Ah, shut up, I know you’re absolutely fucking jonesing to get a piece of this.” He gestures to his whole body and you raise an eyebrow.

He’s fucking right but you’re not gonna tell him that. You just shake your head and lead the way to the exit while Dave talks your ear off about the future of the Avengers team. You’re barely listening, just trying to get through the huge crowd of people so you can find the bathroom, when you hear someone call your name.

It’s your friend Roxy, waving excitedly and gesturing you over. “Karkat!” she calls again, smiling widely.

You manage to push through the throng of people to get to her, tugging Dave along by his hand so you don’t lose him to the crowd. When you make it to Roxy you see she’s there with her girlfriend Calliope and you greet them both.

“Hey guys!” Roxy nearly shouts. “Were you just in the same theater as us? We must have missed you!”

“Yeah, I think so,” you say.

“Nice, how’dya like it?”

You shrug. “It was pretty good,” you say with a nod. “Dave thinks it was epic.”

“Dave, you know what the hell you’re talking about,” Roxy agrees. “I was personally a big fan of Chris Evans in that suit. Swoon.” She makes a dramatic gesture and you smile.

“What about you, Callie?” Dave asks. “I know action movies aren’t really your thing.”

Callie seems surprised that anyone is addressing her. “No, I’m not very fond of them,” she admits. “But… Roxy wanted to go, and the tickets were free, so…”

“Oh yeah, we got in on that sweet deal, too,” Dave says. “Basically stole those fucking tickets, I almost feel a little bad about it.”

“Huh,” Roxy says. She glances down and you realize you’re still holding Dave’s hand. “Didn’t realize you guys had jumped onto the romantic train into relationship-ville.”

“Uh,” you say smartly. You glance at Dave and he seems to be contemplating what to say.

“Uh,” he mirrors. And then, with a small smile and an enthusiastic tone, “Yeah!”

You snap your head to him, eyes widening. Why the fuck is he lying?

He continues, “Yeah, we - uh - we’re together now. Yup.”

Roxy squeals over Callie’s soft, “Congratulations,” and scoops you both into a tight hug. She shakes you a little then pulls away, smiling broadly and pressing her hands into her cheeks.

“I’m so happy for you guys!” she exclaims. “I’ve been waiting for you to get together since like _ever_. Have you smooched yet? Tell me you’ve smooched.”

You’re so dumbfounded by what the fuck is happening that you can’t speak, so Dave tells Roxy another string of lies about your first kiss and how amazing it apparently was. He just keeps fucking talking and you keep listening, not interrupting him, like watching a trainwreck. Except in this scenario you’re not just watching the trainwreck, you’re the conductor and Dave is recklessly shovelling coal into the engine.

“Lemme see,” Roxy is saying, cheeks pink with delight. “Lay one on him for Valentine’s Day, Davey.”

You open your mouth to protest but then Dave is swooping into your personal space, grabbing you by the sides of your face. His lips connect with yours and every hair on your body raises as goosebumps trail down your skin. Your brain ceases to function and you kiss him back without really thinking about it, deepening what should have been a simple peck on the lips into something more like a proper kiss. When you pull away both Callie and Roxy are staring at you with wide eyes.

“Jeez,” says Roxy. “I was just talkin’ about a little kiss on the cheek or something. Goddamn.”

“Uh, we should get going,” Callie suggests quietly, a little uncomfortable. “If we want to beat traffic.”

Roxy snaps her fingers. “Right as always, babe.”

You say your goodbyes as best as you can with your heart pounding and your blood pooling in your ears, and watch with a frown as the two women leave. It’s only when they’re out of sight that you drop Dave’s hand and turn to him.

“Well, we’re fucked,” you say, voice shaking. Your mouth tingles. “Now everyone’s gonna think we’re dating.”

“Nah, Rox isn’t gonna tell anyone,” Dave reassures you. He seems far too nonchalant for having just kissed one of his best friends. “She’s cool.”

“Fine, but if this blows up in our faces, I’m blaming you."

“What, it’s not like she’s gonna message everyone without our permission,” he says. “Relax.”

You take a small breath and shake your head; he’s probably right.

* * *

 

Roxy messages everyone without your permission.

You wake up to a million texts from John, Sollux, and Kanaya, all demanding to know why you didn’t tell them about your new relationship with Dave, who you find in his room trying to deal with a similar problem.

“Man, fucking Roxy,” he complains, grumbling and running a hand through his hair. “I love her to death but she has the biggest goddamn mouth on the planet.”

“Are you serious?” you ask. “Can you really blame Roxy when you’re the one who fucking kissed me in front of her?”

He shrugs, puts his hands up in a defensive movement. “Well, dude, what was I supposed to do?”

“Not that?” you suggest. “We could have just told her we lied? Like normal people?”

“I mean, you were holding my hand and everything,” he says, voice raising. “And you said you were down to pretend so I thought it was chill!”

“It was not _chill_ ,” you say. You don’t know why you’re so upset. You not fond of feeling like you’re being played with, and as far as you know Dave isn’t harboring any secret romantic feelings for you. Kissing you just made everything on your end infinitely worse, even though it probably meant nothing to him, and now you’re left to deal with the fallout.

“Okay, dude, look,” Dave says, calming down a little. “I’m sorry, alright? I just thought…”

When he doesn’t finish you ask, “Thought what?”

He pauses, then shakes his head. “Nothing, forget it,” he mumbles. “I’ll just send out a group text and tell everyone it was a misunderstanding and we can-”

“No,” you say, though you’re not sure why. “No, don’t do that.”

Dave looks at you, eyes big and brown. You can actually see the confusion in them since he’s not wearing his shades, paired with a little bit of hurt that you can’t quite pinpoint. “Why?” he asks.

“Because I…” You pause, look away. “Fuck.”

“What?”

“Fuck!” You run your hands through your hair and feel frustrated tears prick at your eyes. You’re not mad at Dave, not by a longshot. You’re mad at yourself, for having feelings for Dave, for agreeing to such a stupid idea, for letting him kiss you and kissing him back. Now everyone thinks you’re dating and you’re stuck here wishing it were true.

“Dude?” Dave asks quietly. He sounds concerned.

You breathe out a sigh and open your mouth to talk, but nothing comes out. Dave looks at you with a pleading expression.

“I’m sorry, man,” he says again. “You’re right, this was a stupid fucking idea and I should’ve never… Kissing you was fucked up. I’m sorry.”

You scrub at your face and sigh again. You don’t want Dave to be sorry, he didn’t do anything wrong. You’re the one who caught feelings when you should have avoided them and the last thing you want is for Dave to feel like he fucked up somehow. You’re the piece of shit in this situation.

“Don’t be sorry,” you mutter. “I’m not mad, I just…”

You don’t know if you can finish your sentence, if you can admit to Dave that you liked kissing him, liked holding his hand, liked being called his boyfriend. When you don’t continue he just stares at you, eyes searching yours for some sort of clarity. The longer you look at him the more you want to confess, just on the off chance that he might feel any type of way about you. He did kiss you after all, with little to no hesitation, and after a few moments of consideration, a few moments of staring at him, you swallow thickly and decide to grow up.

“I didn’t want to pretend,” you say slowly.

Dave blinks and his lips part in what looks like disappointment. “Fuck, Karkat, I didn’t-”

“No, I mean…” You have to swallow again to speak. “I wanted it to be real.”

He raises his eyebrows, doesn’t speak.

“I’m not upset that you kissed me,” you say. “I just wish it wasn’t under the guise of a fake fucking relationship.”

Dave still doesn’t seem to get it, and just sits on his bed opening and closing his mouth like an idiot for a good minute. He doesn’t speak, and you don’t have it in you to use your voice anymore, so you both just stare at the floor in silence until you make an executive decision to march your ass up to him and kiss him again.

You nearly knock him over from how quickly you put your lips on his, and he makes a muffled sound against your mouth. To your immense surprise, he kisses you back after he gets over his initial shock, opening up his lips to yours. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you down with him so you’re lying on his bed, your bodies flush. You try to pull away from him to speak, to clarify your feelings, but Dave chases after your lips and kisses you until you’re dizzy.

“I didn’t know,” he whispers when he finally lets you go. You’re lying side by side on his bed now, his arms still tight around your waist.

“Yeah, because I didn’t fucking tell you,” you say, just as quiet.

“I wish you had, then we could’ve skipped all this pretending bullshit and just gone straight to the good shit.”

You snort a laugh and kiss him again, smiling against his mouth.

“So, can I tell everyone that it’s true?” he asks. “We’re like… a thing?”

“Is that what you want?” you ask. Your heart pounds.

“Fuck yeah dude,” he says. “If you’re in, I’m in.”

You feel light, your heart soaring, and you watch as Dave sends out a mass text to confirm your new relationship, leaving out the part about faking it. Your phones starts to blow up almost immediately, but you ignore them in favor of kissing each other silly.

**Author's Note:**

> cant believe ive never done a fake dating au! wouldve gone more in depth with this but just wanted it to be a fun lil ditty; went farther than i thought it would anyways! 
> 
> thanks for reading and reminder that im always taking prompts/requests over on my tumblr @acedavestrider
> 
> comments are always appreciated!


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